Before I start this blog about unsupportive people, I would like to explain some important details to you. In this blog you will see how uncompassionate and narrow minded these people are.
Let’s start by describing the unsupportive person; this person can be male or female, old or young, educated or uneducated, live in any part of the world, and be of any race or religion. Now that pretty much describes anyone walking this planet, but you can point them out by their utter lack of compassion for others.
I watched a show last night called, “My 600-lb Life.” The story followed an obese woman for a year during her fight to lose weight with the help of lap band surgery. This woman was desperate to lose weight, it bothered her that she could not do things with her daughter and her daughter was growing up without her, she was also having health concerns. She was bound and determined to lose weight. Her husband was not supportive of her losing weight, he was not even present during her surgery. He did call her during her hospital stay; the phone call was very unpleasant for her. He had said something mean to her and made her cry.
After a few days rest in the hospital they released her and her husband drove her home. On their way home he had to go through a drive thru. He ordered his food and she states that she is not even hungry. After he receives his food he proceeds to wave it in her face. “Just smell it,” he says. She insisted, “I don’t want any it is going to make me sick.”
As the show continued, her husband remained emotionally abusive to her. Her reason for not leaving him right away was because she was facing one major obstacle and could not cope with another one.
When we don’t see things clearly, life throws circumstances at us to make us see clearly. For this lady she saw that her child was growing up without her and when she decided she wanted to change her life; her husband did not support her decision; she learned what he was really all about.
In the beginning of this blog I told you about unsupportive people. They can be anyone! They can be someone that you love so much only to discover how much they are all about themselves. Everything has to be to their advantage.. A healthy relationship relies on love, trust and so many other things, as well as sharing and being supportive of your dreams and goals.
What I can tell you is this, please have supportive people in your life, keep them close and let them know constantly how much you appreciate them. It is also important that if you are married or in a relationship with an unsupportive person, that you have a great plan for getting out of that relationship as soon as you can.
The unsupportive person is so insecure that he/she does not want you to succeed or to be better than them. Everything has to be their way and if it is not, they will not show you any support. This type of person does not care about your feelings; their purpose is to keep you feeling low so that you don’t feel good about yourself. This type of person does not compliment you on anything. That is why you need supportive people around you, so you can value your self-worth. Sadly, this type of person will not change unless they do a lot of inner work on themselves or they seek professional counseling.
Don’t lose yourself in all of this. This person is very miserable with themself. Once you realize that the issue is with them, and not about you, you can separate yourself from it.
So how do you build yourself up while living with such a negative person? I thought of this question as I watched the show. Here are some helpful tips.
1. First realize that this person will not change no matter how perfect you try to be, it will never be good enough for them.
2. No matter how happy you are, they will always burst your “happy” bubble. They are miserable, they like to remain that way and misery loves company.
3. Realize your self-worth. Look in the mirror every day and tell yourself how beautiful a person you are inside and out. Make a list on paper and write down all of your positive attributes, say them throughout the day. For every negative statement that is said to you, fire back with 2 or three positive things (say more if needed). There is no need to say them aloud; if the negative person is around he/she will just bash those positive remarks. So, keep them to yourself.
4. Your actions support your view. Once you lift your emotional level up off the floor, your actions will follow. Your appearance will change. This I call the stance, your attitude. You have re-created who you are at this point. First your emotional well-being is now balanced in your favor, and your physical body is being transformed as well. This is starting with your face, you smile more often, and the reason is you are happy because you don’t let the unsupportive person push your buttons anymore. You are strong, you make informative decisions. You look and feel wonderful. When you reach this point you decide on what kind of life you want to have and who you want in it. This is when you map out and take action. You will look at your children and your future very closely and base your decisions on your new outlook.
When I watched the show my heart cried out for that woman. To see her try so hard every day and this negative person kept trying to knock her down. Her will and determination shined through. Her obstacles were many, but with hard work and dedication they became few. People struggle, our job on this earth is to help ease each other’s burdens, not to add to them. Just remember, it only takes one compliment to help someone out. Just one compliment will let the ray of light shine through to them.
May your days be filled with love, happiness and peace!